Day 3: Love is not selfish Results

So day 3 was really hard, but I managed to not text or call him until around 2am and then I got a little worried. I failed at the part of buying him something because I didn't go shopping today and I didn't want to go out just to look for something for him. I know I'm lazy but I did buy him some new frozen coffee drink from Wendy's.

I'm really slacking on updating this thing and reading the book. I've been wedding planning. :) So excited to spend the rest of my life with his boy!!

Day 3: Love is not selfish

I'm a little late in creating this entry but today's focus is on selfishness. People are selfish by nature. The book is suggesting that in marriage you should put your spouse first, making sure their needs are met before yours. It also says that by showing your spouse this behavior they will start to realize your needs and become less selfish themselves.

I felt this really spoke out to me. Right now Lawrence is having a really hard semester academically as well as trying to study for the LSAT. He spends every night from about 8pm-1am in the library studying. I really wish he would rather spend his time with me but I understand this is very important to him. I need to be less selfish in this area.

I feel that sometimes Lawrence can be very selfish with his time. Every Friday night is supposed to be date night but sometimes he neglects to come home on time and ends up coming home at 10pm. He always comes up with some kind of excuse as we why he wasn't home on time and it usually has to do with school or his friend. I do not like his friend AT ALL. That is a whole other story though.

I really hope that by trying to be less selfish, he will in turn become less selfish. I know this will take time.

The dare for today is to buy something for your significant other that says "I thought about you today". This is going to be challenging because I don't really have any money. This might have to happen later but I'll still apply what I learned from today into my life.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. --Romans 12:10

Day 2: Love is Kind Results

Today was terrible. I've been trying so hard to accomplish just the first two dares of the book. I almost feel like giving up. This morning I got up and got his things, his glasses and phone, of which he almost always forgets, and had them ready for him when he left so he wouldn't forget them. I thought this was a great random act of kindness. I could have just laid in bed or gone back to sleep. He mentioned it and then was like you should have gotten me all of my stuff, like his clothes, breakfast, etc. While yes that would have been nice, I'm trying to start small.

So today I came home from class and he had cleaned the house, well all except the dishes. I am so thankful for this. I agreed to do the dishes and began doing them but didn't finish them so I could cook dinner and spend time with him before he left for the library for the night. After dinner he went in his room and cleaned it. I asked him to come sit with me and spend some time with me before he left but instead he came out of his room saying that I don't ever do anything. The reason I hadn't finished the dishes was because I was planning on doing them while he was gone. I value our time that we have to spend together and I didn't want to waste it by doing the dishes. I was truly hurt by his comment and broke down crying. My feelings were hurt beyond belief. He then later said that I don't do this everyday but he was mad because I wasn't doing the dishes. It made me feel like why should I even try doing this dare?

I'm just going to pray for a better day tomorrow.

Day 2: Love is Kind

Day 2 speaks about kindness towards your significant other and is centered around Ephesians 4:32. It requires me not only to repeat the dare from Day 1 but also do one unexpected act of kindness. I'm not really sure what I will do because I don't know what tomorrow holds for us. In my update I will list what I did.

My goals for Day 2:

• Say nothing negative.
• Be patient and understanding to his needs.
• Do not criticize.
• Show kindness through all words and actions.

We have a little chalkboard by our front door that I will be writing the daily Bible verse on each day. I wonder if he'll notice!

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. --Ephesians 4:32

Day 1: Love is Patient Results

Day 1 of the dare was very challenging. God must have been really challenging me because for some reason it was one of those days where small things really got on my nerves. It took a lot for me not to criticize things he did or say anything negative to him. I'm not really sure if he even noticed but I tried really hard and sometimes caught myself before I was going to say something negative. I also noticed that I do nag him and sometimes be more negative then positive in the things I say to him. I am thankful that this day brought that to my attention. I also realized that I am thankful for all the little things he does that bother me because I realize that is what makes him who he is and why I love who he is!

I'm really proud of myself for how the past 24 hours went. I'm going to try to keep this up as well as add the next day of the challenge!

Day 1: Love is Patient

It is 12:15 am and I'm starting Day 1 of the Love Dare. Day 1 is requiring me to be patient and is centered around Ephesians 4:2. I will report back at the end of today with my results.

My goals for Day 1:

• Saying nothing negative to Lawrence all day.
• Be patient and understanding to his needs.
• Do not criticize him about anything. If nothing nice can be said then I will choose to not say anything at all.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 NIV

The Love Dare

We have finally set a wedding date. May 29, 2010. After watching the movie Fireproof together I was given the book The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick, by my mom. It has sat in my bedside drawer for a while but I recently decided that I want to try it out. In the movie it is used to save their marraige and we are not needing to save our relationship, but I want to show him how much I care about him and love him.

The key to this is that Lawrence doesn't know I'm doing it. It will take 40 days to complete the whole book. Hopefully I will accomplish this in 40 days but I may have to do every other day because of our crazy busy schedules. I'm really exicted about trying this out and seeing how it enriches our love and relationship.